What about me?

[Anonymous]

This is my first time on this website so here it goes.
Im a 14 year old girl with a probelm ive beeb having, and i dont know how to deal with it very well.
Ever since my moms been dating this guy and its been a year since theyve been togeather. Its nice shes happy, but sometimes she gets caught up in her own world. I know i have a part in this too, like i give her attitude, but i do it because i want her to see how i really feel. she tells me im number 1 in her life, she teels me she loves me, but it doesnt always feel like it. I cant even talk to her like i use to, i feel like i just dont belong in her life. Ive always been mommys littlle girl, so i cant always let new people in her life, its just so hard. But its like she exspects me to like them right off the bat, she doesnt even ask me if im ok with it, she doesnt even ask me if im ok with him living here, like isnt it my life to?
Its great shes happy, and its nice shes found someone thats made her happy, but its my happyness to, like dont i have a say in any of this. i love my mom so much, dont get me wrong, but she always has to have what she wants. She hates my dad, she has everythin g against him, she talks about him to this guy, and i hate it, im sick of it. There always so kissy, and lovey dovey, and i hate it. ive tried to tell my mom it bugs me, and she doesnt stop. I dont even bother telling her any of this anymore, because its like it doesnt matter. so if she doesnt care then why should i.
I just want my mom back, but will that ever be possible?
I hate the fact that she only thinks about herself,
I want everything to be okay, but will that ever happen?

[Support Team]

Hi Anonymous,

Thanks for sharing this with us, it sounds like it's been pretty difficult for you to cope with this. It's understandable to feel threatened when someone new takes on such a prominent place around you. Can you tell us more about how it makes you feel?

You mentioned that you have told your mom about some of the things that bug you. Have you ever had an in-depth discussion with her about the emotions you're feeling?

What kind of things do you do for yourself day-to-day to try and deal with this? Is there anyone in your life that you can talk to about your concerns?

Post back soon,
The Support Team

[Anonymous]

your mom and you are trading roles.

if thats the way it is going, in the nicest way possible it would be rather suitable for you to tell it like it is, and be direct, state your mind and tell her that what is acceptable is for her to take a hard look at those things that concern you. address this on paper if that means you will have a better exchange.

agree to disagree is another option but you are very dead on the spot with those things you are upset about, and very skilled at expressing those things so well.

a most reasonable person would handle this with dignity.

i can picture you having a serious moment with your mom about this.

if i had to swallow this from my daughter i would be impressed. facts and directness would make me sit up and look at myself. if i were your mom, its what i would be looking for. i hope she wakes up to the pain she is causing you. wakes up to the way you view her actions hurt your relationship, to the fact that she has been selfish, and has done something wrong in that she has brought grief into your world.
XO

[karljoesen]

Hi you! I am so sorry to hear your story. I understand the issue that you are in. but I think say right. " the nicest way possible it would be rather suitable for you to tell it like it is, and be direct, state your mind and tell her that what is acceptable is for her to take a hard look at those things that concern you. address this on paper if that means you will have a better exchange and agree to disagree is another option but you are very dead on the spot with those things you are upset about, and very skilled at